The other day I was snuggled up on the couch having a wonderful in-depth conversation with my husband.The topic was our childhoods, which we discovered were vastly different. We have been married for such a long time. That I forget we experienced different childhoods. Through our conversation, I was reminded of the moments and aspects of my childhood that I am eternally grateful for.
The main topic of our conversation centered around family time such as family get-togethers and/or family vacations.
Just that statement probably sparked a memory for you. For instance, maybe you thought of this past holiday season. Family time varies it can feel marvelous, be a giant catastrophe, even shock you beyond your imagination. Any way you spin it family time is family time and it is one of those things that as years pass by I come to consciously appreciate more and more.
Which brings me to my first thought of the day:
As the years pass you by your view of memories change. Sometimes it's because you realize and understand more as an adult than you did as a child or maybe its because an adult took the time to explain to the present you what you as a child didn't need to know.
We all try to protect the children around us which means they never know the full story. They don't always need all the facts, they just need enough information to know that this happened or this is going to happen. It's just simply a parents way of protecting their child from all the ugliness of the world around them.
I've had this experience with my children as they have grown. For example, we made a big out of state move one year. We told the kids it was a big adventure, it was something new, and that we were going to go live by so and so. What I didn't tell them was that dad had been out of work for 6 months and we had this new job opportunity come up and we had to take it in order to survive. There was no reason for them to know we were worried about money. There was no reason for them to know that their dad was experiencing and that there was nothing they could do to change or help. So yes I decided to keep them in the dark. I decided to let them be kids and for us to deal with the adult stuff of paying bills. Whether there is a right or wrong choice in this situation the truth is and always will be that this was how I decided to handle it. It was my choice to make because at the end of the day I was the adult in the situation, not them.
The kids get it now that they are older and it's something they have stated they appreciated. Yet, I was surprised to find that now, especially now, I could still look back on my childhood and interpret it differently then I did 10 years ago.
Which brings us to my second thought of the day:
I have read that your memories change each time you remember them because you are not really remembering the actual event. You are remembering the last time you remembered the event.
So my thought today was,
Did I get something different from my memories
because the memories changed or did I change?
I have chosen to believe that my experience of my memories is different because I have changed. I don't think it was the last memory that changed. I think I have become more comfortable with myself, more forgiving of others, and more compassionate then I have been in the past. I think that every day we experience new things. Small insignificant experiences that ultimately change our views of the world, of yourself and the past. These experiences are not noted when they happen or even right after they happen yet there it is. I'm changing every day, hopefully into a better person, hopefully, into the me I'm supposed to be.
Thavin & Marcob is a place where you are celebrated for being you!