Do you have a group of besties?
You know the amazing people I'm talking about. The ones who stand by you through thick and thin. The ones who have seen you ugly cry your eyes out and still show up the next day to make sure you're feeling okay.
Ask this question to a youngster and I bet they will provide you with a mile long list. When my youngest was in grade school, he would excitedly introduce me to his best friends all of the time. I thought it was great that he was such a social butterfly, however, the hilarity of the encounter came in when I would ask my son their name and he would stand there stumped. Having absolutely no clue what their name was even though they had been playing for hours upon hours.
I am sure all of us adults can agree that making friends as an adult is a lot different than it was when you were 10. As you experience more and more life, you change. It happens to everyone unexpectedly and all at once. When change and growth happen sometime the people that surround you change too. Some you drift from, some you have to remove, some you grow closer to, some become so much a part of your life that you are not you without them. Life is crazy, amazing, and complex. As you grow to understand that the more value you place on friendships increases. Which is why I believe adult friendship to be a lot harder to find, grow, and keep.
Now begs the question of,
"How do you make a new best friend"?
Don't let your thoughts create intimidating thoughts letting that fear run rapidly over your heart before you get the chance to step outside your comfort zone. It might seem vastly different from your childhood, but the step is all the same just with a slight twist now. As a child, you met your friends in common areas like the park or school. Look at what places you frequent, coffee houses, gyms, farmers markets. If you're in the same place chances are you already have at least one thing in common. Take that and initiate a conversation with someone. I know it's scary especially because you don't know if they are busy or in a mood. Rejection hurts and feels embarrassing. Although if you think about all of the encounters you brushed off when you were in a mood or busy it's really not that big of a deal. I know for myself the majority of the time I thought nothing rude of the person. I just needed space to deal with life. There is also something quite flattering about a complete stranger deciding to start a conversation with you. So don't be apprehensive because you fear rejection or that they will think you are weird. Just a hello is all you need to start your path on making a new friend. Once there if the connection feels real and full of spark. Take a leap of faith and ask to do something together sometime. Don't over think it, a cup of coffee at your local coffee house is a great suggestion. Go with something you know the both of you will feel comfortable doing. Something that is not going to require excessive planning that way there is no pressure. The calmer the friend date is the more likely the two of you are going to let down you're guarded grown up walls and be open to just having a good time with a potential new best friend.
After your first friend date, you should have a good idea if you and your potential new bestie really connect. Once you're there all that's left to do is to better get to know each other by sharing your amazing personality.
Besties are a hard find, but when you do find one. You'll be exceptionally grateful that they walked into your life changing it for the better. Helping you make memories, laughter, and jokes that will last each of you a lifetime.
Go on a friend date recently?
We love it when you share with us your amazing personality.
Thavin & Marcob is a place where you are celebrated for being you!